Author: Albert Camus

Uncategorized

Alternate Universe Staff Member Fired After Comedy Scandal

Here at the Alternate Universe, we are committed to providing top-shelf comedic content, and we have a zero-tolerance policy for contrary behavior from anyone who represents our brand.  Last night a member of our staff, who will remain unnamed out of respect to their family, performed in a Divine Comedy show. We were not aware that they had any ties to the organization, and we … Continue reading Alternate Universe Staff Member Fired After Comedy Scandal

Albert Camus
General Conference

Elderly Speakers at Conference too Cold

After suffering through the first session in an air-conditioned building, the octogenarian and nonagenarian speakers gave up on looking dapper in their tailored suits and sought warmth in any way possible.  “We weren’t really expecting the temperature to drop so quickly after the nice weather we’ve been having, so we didn’t switch over to heating yet,” said Taylor Taylorsen, General Conference support staff.  Taylorsen’s team … Continue reading Elderly Speakers at Conference too Cold

Albert Camus
BYU Voices, Campus, Life, News

BYU Tenants Union Celebration Cut Short By Landlord After Noise Complaint

After BYU’s announcement, that starting next August, BYU students will no longer be required to live in BYU-approved housing, members of the Provo-centric tenant union decided to mark the occasion. Their festivities were cut short by the natural enemy of the Union—the Landlord. “We just wanted to do something fun for once,” said one partygoer. “Crack open a pack of apple beer, recite some of … Continue reading BYU Tenants Union Celebration Cut Short By Landlord After Noise Complaint

Albert Camus
Uncategorized

Crumbl Releases Exclusive New “Utah” Flavors

The Utah-based cookie company that has been spreading across the country for the last four years is returning to its roots in the second driest U.S. State. The new cookie concoctions include green jello, diet coke, and funeral potatoes. Founders Jason McGowan and Sawyer Hemsley explained their inspiration saying that they, “truly believe that Utah cuisine is the best that there is.” They are happy … Continue reading Crumbl Releases Exclusive New “Utah” Flavors

Albert Camus
Campus

Top 5 Things Worth Getting Honor-Coded For

No one ever WANTS to be honor-coded, but if we’re being honest, some things are just worth it. Here are our top five. #1 Have a Person of the Opposite Sex Help You Move In Having a mother, significant other, or boy cousin help bring your belongings into your new room helps save you time and effort. Even if one of your new roommates report … Continue reading Top 5 Things Worth Getting Honor-Coded For

Albert Camus