Search Results for: worthen

Life

Kevin Worthen Found Guilty–Of Having Too Much Fun!

A jury of his peers found former BYU President Kevin Worthen to be guilty as charged–for having too much fun. Since last year, Worthen has been working at Yale University as the Michael Doyle and Bunny Winter Distinguished Visiting Professor of Law. However, his colleagues have not been enthused by his presence. K-dubs has been partying every weekend since arriving in New Haven, Connecticut. Sources … Continue reading Kevin Worthen Found Guilty–Of Having Too Much Fun!

Cameron Frye
Life, News, President Worthen

Kevin J. Worthen announces presidential campaign

Former BYU President Kevin J. Worthen is seeking a new form of presidency – that of the United States of America. Before his release on May 1, 2023, Worthen served as the President of BYU for nine years. Though the public was officially made aware of his release on March 21, an undisclosed source close to Worthen reveals “he’s been planning this for a while, … Continue reading Kevin J. Worthen announces presidential campaign

Barbie
Campus, Life, President Worthen

Kevin Worthen accidentally bulldozes WILK instead of HFAC

Kevin Worthen, president of BYU, wanted to help in the demolition of the HFAC and rented his own bulldozer. However, because Kevin rarely leaves the ASB, he did not know which building the HFAC is. He drove his bulldozer straight into the side if the WILK. After taking out a few rooms, Kevin posed for some photo ops outside to show off his work. K-dubs … Continue reading Kevin Worthen accidentally bulldozes WILK instead of HFAC

Cameron Frye
Featured, President Worthen

Here is Kevin Worthen’s Spotify Wrapped 2022

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Get ready to judge your smug hipster friends for bragging how they’re in the Top 0.001% of Bon Iver. We get it, MaKayKayleigh, you’re so special. Our excellent investigative reporting has revealed the Spotify Wrapped of the one and only Kevin Worthen! So without further a due, here is his 2022 Spotify Wrapped! Top 5 Artists #5 … Continue reading Here is Kevin Worthen’s Spotify Wrapped 2022

Bobby Zimmeruski
Campus, Featured, Life

Kevin Worthen on the Prowl for Date to Homecoming Formal

BYU campus is on high alert today. For one, excitement is in the air for tonight’s Homecoming Formal Dance. And for another, more sinister reason, President Kevin Jessica Worthen is reportedly on the prowl for a date. He was seen just this morning making excessive eye contact and casually wearing his shirt unbuttoned. According to Worthen, this is just his normal “casual Friday” attire.  “My … Continue reading Kevin Worthen on the Prowl for Date to Homecoming Formal

Sue Sylvester