Chad accepts the hard fact that girls don’t actually want to see him in 5” shorts. 

As spring has sprung, the occurrences of men in short shorts have multiplied exponentially. Focused on showing off their gains from their “winter arcs,” gym bros across the Provo area have opted for shorter styles. 

However, this new style hasn’t gotten the results that Chad, a local Vasa bro, was hoping for. “I thought my shorts would impress the ladies, but the only people that gave me complements were my bros…maybe I’m appealing to the wrong demographic,” Chad noted while shaking his head. 

“First, men let their dogs out with open-toed sandals, and now this?” said a horrified BYU student, Raquel Singley. She continued, “I literally never asked to see men’s thighs, and now I’m making a formal plea for them to stop.” 

The Alternate Universe’s esteemed research team went out to see if the claims were true. Through their sample size of 1,500 students at BYU they found that while 75% of men approved of 5” inseam shorts, only 2.5% of women approved. 

The cold hard truth is that the only men who can truly pull off short shorts are Paul Mescal and Jacob Elordi. It’s time for Provo bros to give up on their high hopes and their high shorts.