The poll of 34,737 BYU adults found that 100% do not want to take your survey. As the end of the semester approaches, distraught students have shared their thoughts on the matter.

“I don’t understand why no one will take my psychometrics survey,” Steven Shnarvey stated perplexedly. “It’s only 180 questions and will literally take 2 minutes!!”

While some students struggle with the quantity of their survey responses, others struggle with the quality. Researchers found that while most close friends and family members will be driven by moral guilt to begin your survey, many, if not all, will lose the motivation to respond thoughtfully after question three.

Frederick Feud, a sophomore psychology major, confirmed this fact, stating, “My results are so skewed. It’s almost like no one actually cared about my survey because no one had time to take my survey because everyone had way better things to do with their time.” 

With final due dates rapidly approaching, students have resorted to desperate means to reach their participant quota.

“I’ve tried Learning Suite messages, emails, bribery, flattery, and manipulation to get participants for my ELING 322 project. I’ve finally resorted to begging on my knees to get more responses,” stated Anne Oying, who is now using her magic 8 ball to produce survey statistics.