Campus conspiracy theorists have been abuzz lately over an unsettling new claim: that BYU’s Learning Suite tool, the staple of the university’s digital education endeavors, now consists solely of a complex network of AI bots. This would render every single interaction on the platform, from discussion boards to assignment feedback, meaningless and artificial, even more than they already were.

The theory spawns from a series of documents leaked to Alternate Universe staff by an anonymous whistleblower known only as “Cougarfour.” “This goes far deeper than you could ever imagine,” said Cougarfour. “Everyone is complicit—from Brandon Sanderson to the Tamale Man. Trust no one.”

The leaks, if they are real, reveal a staggering conspiracy on the part of BYU administration to “actually maybe do something with Learning Suite” and “see if something happens, I dunno.” Further motives beyond this are unknown but undoubtedly sinister.

“It’s the perfect crime,” says junior Miles Hyrum, who leads an organization devoted to researching the theory called Not So Suite. “Nobody uses Learning Suite enthusiastically enough to not sound like a bot, or to care if anyone else sounds like a bot. It’s evil genius.” Hyrum has not been heard from since making these remarks.

Since these revelations, students have been discussing their own encounters with potential bots on the platform.

“My religion professor asked everyone in the class to describe a spiritually strengthening experience on a discussion board,” said sophomore Keighleighly Jeghnsen. “Every single person was talking about their mission. What other explanation could there possibly be?”

“Every single time I’ve emailed my TA through Learning Suite, I got a message back with just the word ‘ERROR’ a thousand times,” said freshman Eli Rhoner. “I never thought that much of it…until now.”

BYU’s administration, in an email to Alternate Universe staff, brushed off the theory. “It’s just a bunch of tinfoil hat nonsensert+y76p; ‘0lu8jykee,” they said.