In a shocking turn of events, several students have claimed that the sushi served in the Wilkinson Center has had unexpected effects on their identities. While the science behind this phenomenon is still unknown, it appears that consuming the sushi has been reported to “turn students gay.” What dish specifically? To nobody’s surprise, the California Roll.

“I was just grabbing lunch before my Book of Mormon class.” Says Braxton Smith “But after one bite of that Cali roll from Cosmo’s Mini-Mart, I’m pretty sure I’m gay now. I don’t know if I should still go.”

“Wait why do I want to watch Wicked all of a sudden,” said Chad Chaddington, another new gay.

Other students have shared similar experiences. Brigham Rickerson gave his statement. “I don’t know about the whole liking guys part, but I said “fab” for the first time today.” Ryan Johnson also provided a statement claiming “I swear I wasn’t gay before this.” He was found to have photo of RuPaul as his screensaver.

The Campus Statistics Department further looked into this matter by conducting a research on the affected sushi eaters. They found that 86% of these students have watched at least a full season of “Queer Eye.” Additionally, 63% used the term “it’s giving” before describing what the sushi tasted like.

“It’s because they didn’t pray for the sushi to nourish and strengthen their bodies.” Bishop Sharlott adds in.

In other news, the sushi seems to have no effect on women, other than giving them an uncontrollable urge to call their toxic ex.