With recent test scores trending downward and BYU’s academic image on the line, administrators decided to see whether it would be beneficial for test-takers to swap three bites of cheese for a clean 20mg of actual amphetamines.

“This will be great because I’ve always felt like I have ADHD,” said student Nero T. Pickle, who exhibits exactly 0 symptoms of ADHD. “My friends can’t take me anywhere, haha.”

But not everyone is as crazy about this development as Pickle.

“I just can’t believe they would do this,” said ADHD club co-president and avid Adderall dealer Piper Active. “Did they even think about how it would affect the campus economy?”

While stimulant supply has skyrocketed, many students have been forced to find alternative suppliers for their string cheese fix.

“I am so glad they did this,” said avid string cheese dealer Mozzie Rela. “They clearly thought about how it would affect the campus economy.”

Some have argued that it is unethical to sell controlled substances to anyone who has at least 50¢ to their name. But after extensive interviewing, we’ve concluded that the BYU population is easily responsible enough to handle it.

“Way too crunchy. Didn’t even taste good,” said freshman Bryson Dyson, sweating profusely, after scoring a 130/100 on a midterm he didn’t study for.