The free t-shirt in the Wilk is every student’s favorite part of Honor Week. In fact, it’s probably the only reason any student is water that Honor Week is even a thing. However, concerns are being raised that these T-shirts may be more destructive than they are honorable, as one student has taken it upon himself to use the shirt to disobey as many policies as possible.

Tyler R. Menase (pronounced “menace”) has been raising heck all week, leaving mass chaos in his wake. Alternate Universe reporters have obtained the following accounts to the latest disruptions.

In the words of the culprit: “My strategy? I pretty much just read each bullet point of Honor Code policy…and then I just do the opposite of what it says and involve the shirt somehow.”

“I saw the guy walk into the Wilk in a bikini fashioned entirely out of the Honor Week T-shirt. At first I felt scared, but now I’m just impressed at the craftsmanship,” says Stephanie McFashun.

While the mayhem is amusing, and even inspirational to some, BYU authorities are taking this matter very seriously. President C. Shane Reese has released the following statement:

“I heard he scooped all the ducks at the duck pond up into the shirt and slung it over his shoulder like one of those bank robber stock photos. I want this thug behind bars.”

For the remainder of Honor Week, BYUSA has put a pause on T-shirt distribution, and is focusing more on rescuing the missing ducks.