The closing of a prayer at 2:50pm marks the end of another class period on BYU campus for hundreds of students, ushering them to the bus stop to board the famous BYU shuttle, The Ryde, for their trip home. Though this transportation system is famous for transporting impressive quantities of students from campus to their overpriced apartment buildings, it had not yet realized its full potential.
At precisely 2:59pm on Monday afternoon, just one minute before the shuttle was scheduled to depart, this bus managed to achieve the unachievable by fitting 95% of the student population in just one trip. This spectacularly saved 33,000 students from having to walk less than one mile home.
“I couldn’t move my arms or legs and figured the shuttle had reached its max capacity, until we saw the entire BYU men’s choir approach the bus, followed by the women’s volleyball team, the ROTC kids and the BYU tunnel singers. To my surprise, the driver opened the bus doors and welcomed them on board. Somehow they defied the laws of nature and all managed to fit,” said Sophie Shortcake who can’t reach the handlebars.
“Mmmmhhhhmhmhmmmm” stated Sarah Spindinighow, who could not speak due to her face unfortunately being pressed up against some guys backpack.
The trip was nothing short of a miracle. As we learn from the scriptures, miracles truly have not ceased among the children of men.
“I actually prayed that my comrades and I would be able to make this long journey together to the promised land (Glenwood). God instructed us to take this bus and carve out a hole in the top and the bottom so that we could receive air during our travels.” stated Jake Linion, an ROTC kid.
His fellow soldier Kyle Sandersonn added, “Typically, accommodating this many people in one vehicle would compromise passenger safety and be a fire hazard, but this bus was tight like unto a dish. No hazard could possibly disrupt its voyage across University Avenue.”
The seven-minute voyage was indeed memorable.
Sam Sung, a CS major shared the following testimony: “A girl passed out both due to claustrophobia and getting elbowed in the forehead multiple times. Luckily, Spiderman catapulted himself into the bus mid-ride and saved her before she became lost in the sea of overheated bodies. He made us all promise not to reveal his true identity.”
Ultimately, The Ryde brought all the students together, opened their hearts, and allowed them to trauma bond.
“I was especially touched when a pregnant woman gave up her seat for one of the BYU athletes. This bus trip truly brought out the best in us,” stated the bus driver, chilling in his spacious seat whilst vibing to Bolt Thrower.