The ever-stringent BYU parking authorities have relaxed their policies today, declaring that students and staff alike can, “just park wherever, man.”

C. Carr Park, head of the parking division of BYU Security explained further that, “Effective immediately: all parking regulations and restrictions are lifted until further notice. If there’s anywhere with enough space for a car, you can park there.”

President Reese commented on the new policies after his devotional address and added, “We want to celebrate BYU’s beautiful campus and use it to its fullest potential. It is the birthright of all cougars to be able to park wherever and whenever they please on campus. The freedom to park anywhere encapsulates the True Blue Spirit of BYU.”

Students are thrilled to finally be able to park close to their classes rather than endure long, grueling, uphill walks or ascend the seemingly endless south campus staircase.

Psychology major Boston Burton said, “I can drive straight into the JFSB courtyard and boom: I’m right there for my next class. It’s like the building was designed with a parking lot!”

Indeed, the JFSB was designed as a callback to Brigham Young’s charge to build a campus in a manner to allow wagon teams to be able to turn around easily.

Finance bro Bensyn Jensen gushed about the change: “I can finally show people how hard I’ve worked last summer by parking my Tesla right in the middle of campus. They said summer sales would be worth it and now I see what they mean. And with the time I save walking to class I can get 20 more minutes a week taking selfies in Vasa!”