As a new semester dawns, students across campus confront astronomical textbook prices and some turn to less-than-legitimate sources for class materials. In an interview with his bishop earlier this morning, freshman Ammon Zedekiahson confessed to engaging in the unthinkable: downloading pirated textbooks off a shady website.

“I just couldn’t deal with the guilt,” Zedekiahson said through tears. “I’ve never done something this terrible.” 

Jeremy Jensen, bishop of the YSA 189th ward, was shocked at this confession. “It was literally just a normal worthiness interview. I asked if he’d been keeping the Sabbath day holy, and suddenly he’s talking about torrenting PDFs like he’s instantly damned or something.”

Other ward members, including Zedekiahson’s roommate Jared Johnson, rallied around their friend, offering prayers and nonjudgmental glances during Sacrament meeting. As Johnson attested, “Who among us hasn’t considered downloading a PDF or two? I think the real sin is those publishers that release twenty new ‘editions’ that just rearrange the table of contents.”

BYU’s administration has yet to comment on this turn of events. However, an unnamed source from within the Honor Code Office itself suggested that the real offense was Zedekiahson’s lack of a VPN. 

It remains to be seen whether any action will be taken against the offender for this moral transgression.