Tonight the BYU Cougars beat the Utah Utes ___ to move to 9-0. Reactions to the game were overall positive, but many have thoughts about the off-the-field effects in the wake of the big win.

“We were supposed to talk about tithing, but I just changed it to ‘Endure to the End.’ I didn’t ask our Elders Quorum President, but I’m sure he’ll understand.”

Danny McElfin – Elders Quorum 1st Counselor in the 456th Ward

“I’m just glad today isn’t Fast Sunday. Every single testimony would have been about the game.”

Henry Claysen – Bishop of the 398th Ward

“I’m happy that we won, but I think I’ll have to start sm*king if we play another game like that.”

Candace McFlynnsen – Stressed