What was once merely a rumor has now been confirmed true. The Monte L. Bean Life Science Museum contains 0 beans.

The whistleblower on the whole operation was sharp-witted chickpea of a freshman Cannellini Castro, from The Great Northern city of Lima, Peru. Northern in continental South American terms, of course.

“I walked in and I was all, what’s the big idea with all these animals, where’s the beans?” said Cannellini in an uncharacteristic Transatlantic accent as she put out a cig right on her desk.

If a student should able to walk into any place on campus to learn about any number of legumes, surely it should be in the Bean Museum. That’s why journalists at The Alternate Universe called in further investigation from the FBI, or the Federal Bean Investigation, to crack down on this case.

“When we finally got the warrant, I let my sharpest K-9s lose to just upturn the whole place, looking for even the slightest legume. Lima. Black. Great Northern. Pinto. Kidney. Green. Soy. Baked. Navy.  Anything. All they turned up was a bunch of sorry stuffed animals,” said head FBI detective Gar Banzo.

With the Bean Museum now affirmatively beanless, the public is reacting with horror. This kind of distrust of institution is what has led to the deterioration of societies all throughout history.

“I’m more shocked than when I found out Cosmo wasn’t a vegetarian,” said local Sally Sallyson.

When AU journalists reached out to museum directors ask if even one bean exhibit may be added to their collection, they declined to comment. In doing so, they have made their stance on curating and documenting the rich history of beans painfully clear.

Local authorities are now requiring BYU to change the name of the facility to “Monte L. No Bean Life Science Museum” so as to avoid further confusing the public.