The installation of a new bright-white concrete surface in the quad area between the ASB, Library, and JKB has been met with hands over foreheads and squinted eyes. With very few trees or tall buildings to provide shade, Brigham Square is dangerously, even blindingly bright.

So bright, in fact, that it recently converted a man to Christ.

On the road from the HBLL to the Wilk, Sam was struck blind by a sudden flash of light bouncing off the pavement.

A voice rang down from heaven, asking “Sam, Sam, why persecutest thou me?”

After 3 days without sight, food, or drink, he left his sinful ways behind and committed himself to a lifetime of discipleship.

“My days of watching hot girl anime adits and getting Taco Bell after church are over,” said the newly named Pam.

Optical specialist David Fry commented on the Square’s brightness during a recent visit to BYU.

“I’ve looked into the Hadron Collider, I’ve watched people split an atom. But absolutely nothing comes close to the chalky white pavement at BYU. I’m still seeing spots in my eyes.”

Casey Paul Griffiths had a different take on the situation, implying that the bright pavement was intentional. “The brightness represents BYU’s holiness and its status as God’s University. Those who feel uncomfortable from the light perhaps should look inwardly at their own worldliness and consider if maybe they have room for improvement. This new installation has brought many more than just Sam back into the fold.”