After the debate between Kamala Harris and Donald Trump last week, our team sent out a group of reporters to gather on-the-ground information about the political scene at Brigham Young University. The data gleaned from these reports illuminates the tension between two factions on campus.

“They’re just too salty,” says sophomore Emma McConkson, in response to a question about immigration. “I love the Biggie Bag, but Wendy’s has got to stop oversalting their fries. It’s actually a huge issue. Now, In’N’Out! They are doing it right over there!”

We polled a few more students on their thoughts surrounding the Harris/Trump debate. None of them had watched it, but all of them had strong feelings about McConkson’s salty sentiments. According to Emmah Smith, Wendy’s French fries “are absolutely perfect. What in the world is she talking about? In’N’Out must keep their fries in the freezer or something, they’re always so limp and cold. Honestly, I’m not sure if I can be friends with Emma anymore, since we have such fundamental disagreements…”

McConkson responds: “Seriously? I can’t believe it. It’s almost a human rights violation- no, not almost, it literally is. Yeah, I can’t associate with her anymore, either.”

At this point, our desperate reporters abandoned this fight between friends and began asking other students their thoughts. When asked who he is planning to vote for, political science student Jimmy Frederickson says, “I don’t really care. I’ll vote for whoever brings the McRib back.” 

With this, we abandoned on-the-spot interviews and sent an anonymous poll to the student body, asking whether they would be voting for Harris or Trump. Neither candidate got any votes, but write-ins for “In’N’Out” and “Wendy’s” each ended up at exactly 50% of the vote. Politics may be an unknown quantity to the BYU community at large, but they sure are passionate about fast food.