Provo residents once more find themselves at a disadvantaged position as another homeless week has come upon us.
The annual early Christmas present to landlords descends like a pall over this quaint and demure town. As part of homeless week, many apartment complexes force out their tenants for a week, careless to the potential upheaval and suffering this decision could cause the fair residents of Provo. These tough situations often force people into awkward situations like setting up camp somewhere unconventional or in extreme cases, returning to stay with an ex’s family.
Rumors of non-Utah residents, domestic or foreign, sleeping on campus are unconfirmed but not improbable. We have received reports of 5th floor cubbies in the library being turned into makeshift beds, testing center sleepovers, and stowaways in the new building construction project.
We asked residents from different backgrounds how they were coping with their dehousement. These stories may be traumatic or triggering to readers who have been unhoused previously or are currently living through the hell that is homeless week. Reader discretion is advised.
“I broke up with my long-term situationship a few months back. but I was on good terms with his parents and I had nowhere else to go. They’re empty nesters with a couple of spare guest bedrooms. It’s not all bad. The dad likes to grill and the mom has taken me with her to Kneaders twice as part of her book club.”
Penny Nikkelson – Norwegian student 
“Yeah, I’m just up with my parents in Draper this week. Wait, it’s homeless week? What does that even mean? Why don’t people just like, go home? Most BYU students are from Utah, right?”
Kaelyghn Baird – Utah Resident
“I’ve been able to sleep inside a different [library] bookshelf every night. They haven’t found me yet.”
Tanner McDavid – On the Run
When we visited the offices of a certain housing conglomerate, our reporter was told that, “This week is very important as we do… um, cleaning checks. Yeah, cleaning checks! What tenants do in between contracts is up to them but we are dedicated to providing the kind of quality housing services that Provo residents know and love.”
The housing representative declined to comment further as they returned to counting a giant pile of money.