Celebrate homeland and heritage this July 24th with these top picks for Pioneer Day fun.

 

Revive Manifest Destiny

Grab 60,000 of your closest friends and take a light 1,300 mile stroll across the Great Plains in the name of God and country. 

 

Treat Yourself

Cheat day! Indulge by licking up your family’s last handful of plain flour from your palm. 

Make sure to savor it—there’s not more where that came from. 

 

Pick a Fight with Your Native American Friend

Keep things interesting by overstepping a boundary or two and starting new drama for no reason. 

 

Contract Tuberculosis

Get in touch with your pioneer roots by coughing up blood onto  one of those cute little handkercheifs.  

 

Have 17 Profound Spiritual Experiences and Make a Low Budget Film about Them

Seek out enough gritty, real-life material to make a barely PG cult classic that manages 85% on Rotten Tomatoes and 3.3 on Letterboxd. 

 

Marry the Same Guy as Your Girlies

It’s time for this to make it out of the chat. Turn your soul sisters into sister wives by betrothing yourselves to the same man. You’ve always shared everything anyway. 

 

Eat So Much Salt Water Taffy your Tummy Hurts

Sugar rush! Attend one of Utah Valley’s many Pioneer Day parades and get pelted in the head with nummy confectionaries. 

 

Die from Tuberculosis

If you’re looking to dip out of the festivities early, give up the ghost and join your homies in the afterlife.