In just a few short weeks, BYU will be infested…not with insects or rodents, but with something far worse–EFY Teenagers. 

BYU officials are aware of the monumental task that lies before them and have vowed to properly fortify BYU’s campus to face the onslaught, even creating a new task force called the Student Humanitarian Aid Response Team.

We asked top BYU officials what their plan entailed for the coming storm. The first director of the Student Humanitarian Aid Response Team, Jaylan Jensen, had this to say, 

“We’ve been making great strides in shoring up the campus and making sure we’re ready. We will be deploying sandbags and barriers around potential high traffic areas. The early estimates show that we will be dealing with EFYers in the thousands. BYU students remaining on campus will be encouraged to store enough food to last through the crisis.” 

EFY has been happening since 1976, but growing concerns over the yearly takeover of campus have led to more extreme measures to corral the blue-shirted horde. Brixten Sorensen, a junior majoring in Family Studies had this to say,

“I’m worried that they’ll, like, take over campus. Just the thought of like millions of teenagers and they’re just like…everywhere? And then I heard that they are organized into ‘companies.’ You know what else also has companies? An army! We need to be prepared!”

If you happen to be on campus at BYU this summer, you will need to be ready. We included some helpful tips to weather the storm:

• Wear ear protection: EFY comes with lots of loud songs and chants that can be harmful to one’s hearing. 
• Avoid open areas: EFY students are most dangerous when they are massed together outside. Prepare to take less direct paths to class.
• Go on vacation: The best way to ensure your safety is to evacuate Provo as soon as possible. Maybe now is your chance to finally be one of those Lake Powell people!
• Maintain your own food supply: The Cougareat is expected to be out of commission. If you want to tough it out and survive on campus, you’ll need to have your own stockpile of food and supplies.