This year’s Commencement Ceremony allows those graduating to bring only three guests. Because no seniors belong to family units that minuscule, the university has advised severing relationships before graduation day arrives. For a church culturally known for encouraging large families, this regulation has struck many as contradictory.

This advice has led many graduating seniors to great distress. Many were viewed staring at photos of their 10+ immediate family members for hours on end, wrestling with the Abrahamic trial ahead of them.

“Our son broke the news to us that he plans to give his tickets to his three favorite brothers. His father and I haven’t spoken to him since” said doting mother Bonnie Bingham. “I just never imagined that BYU would put us in this situation.”

“It’s ‘enter to learn, go forth to serve’ not ‘enter to learn, have your loved ones there to support you in your graduation.'” stated Clark G. Gilbert, Church Commissioner of Education said. His frank assessment is technically accurate, but at press time he had not answered the question of which three of his eight children were his favorites.