As Heritage and Helaman Halls continue to take up arms against each other for some reason that nobody actually remembers, Army of Helaman General Audrey Thibaughlt has displayed extreme prowess as a strategist. But no hero is without flaw. Her ambition had become apparent to her officers, and they seized the opportunity to put an end to it.

Thibaughlt was stabbed ten times–once for each building’s commander, and once more by campus-crossed lover and former friend Nova McCapuleight.

“Et tu, Nova?” said Thibaughlt, who once attended exactly 23 minutes of Latin 101, as she lay dying.

The Army of Helaman has announced plans to institute a democracy going forward.

“As she was valiant, I honor her. But as she was ambitious, I slew her,” said McCapuleight. “With Audrey gone, we agreed to negotiate a treaty on Helaman turf at Building Nine.”

Both sides have seemingly forgotten that both Heritage and Helaman have a building of that name, and we have no plans to inform them at this time.

“I’m surprised they agreed to meet at Heritage, but I live right next to Building 9 so I’m not mad,” said Captain Elder McKrutio.

We don’t know what might result from the planned negotiations, but we can safely assume it won’t be anything worthwhile.