Chaos! Mayhem! Utter pandemonium! What began as the most ambitious crossover event of all time has escalated into total war as Heritage and Helaman Halls march into battle over the forbidden romance of Lake Monson and Nova McCapuleight.

Our journalists braved both sides of the battlefield to bring you the latest news regarding the disarray covering the northern portion of campus.

“Mobilize Merrill and Stover forward across the MOA parking lot and deploy the Knights of the Y to the northern front,” said Helaman General Audrey Thibaughlt, too busy for an actual comment. “And bring me another [CENSORED] Molotov mocktail.”

Thibaughlt’s fierce leadership has sparked fear among the Heritage ranks.

“Some say that we stand no chance against Thibaughlt’s powerful tactics, but surely God shall not suffer that we shall be trodden down and destroyed,” said Captain Elder McKrutio, who recently made that his new legal name.

And it came to pass that he rent his coat; and he took a piece thereof and wrote upon it: ‘In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our three Creamery locations, and our fourth floors,’ and he fastened it upon the end of a pole.

McCapuleight has also expressed her newfound fear of her friend Thibaughlt, who has even started attending her own history class to learn about the world wars.

“Audrey has always been a good friend, but now she only answers to ‘General Thibaughlt’ and blames the war on me for holding hands with the enemy,” said McCapuleight. “Lake and I may have no choice but to elope and move to married student housing.”

The Heritage Building 7 basement has been converted into an infirmary for the wounded and fallen.

“I challenged an Army of Helaman soldier to a Pokémon Card battle, but I was unconscious before my gauntlet hit the ground,” said Heritage veteran Bryson Dyson, both trodden down and destroyed. “I don’t think she even had any cards to defend herself with.”

President C. Shane Reese issued a statement on national television earlier today.

“I’m afraid there’s nothing that can be done other than commission the Relief Society General Presidency to provide refreshments to the battlefield,” he announced while failing to conceal a comically large bucket of popcorn. “For without loss, what do we truly stand to gain?”

The war shows no signs of slowing anytime soon. In fact, all evidence indicates that this is only the beginning of what could become the largest conflict of all time on BYU campus.