A new genre of semi-aquatic Provo residents just dropped!

In a shocking turn of events, a freak accident in the LSB caused a cascade of toxic, possibly radioactive ooze down the slopes surrounding the building. These contaminants found their way towards the beloved south campus duck pond causing a complete (and totally rad!) metamorphosis among some of the local fauna. 

When questioned about his involvement, an anonymous LSB employee said, “We totally absolutely do not have anything radioactive or otherwise dangerous in the LSB. And if we did and it happened to spill then I definitely wouldn’t know anything about that.”

Local residents have said that these so-called “Teenage Mutant Ninja Mallards” aka TMNM have been spotted frequently at Brick Oven Pizza

They are reportedly being trained in many disciplines by a mysterious “Master Reese.” “Master Reese has been teaching us lots of great things like martial arts, folk dancing, and how to make Jell-O,” said Renoir, the leader of the TMNMs.

“I was on my scooter on the way to my accounting class when all of a sudden something ran out from the duck pond right in front of me,” says marketing major Kale Gordan. “When I stopped, I noticed they were, like, giant duck dudes. But then one of them gave me a high five and asked where they could get some maple bars. It was so dope!” 

Although it is unclear what the goals of the TMNM are just yet, many on campus are showing their support for the arrival of these badass masked vigilantes.

“These ducks are heroes. Not the ducks that Provo deserves, but the ones that we need,” says junior Brixlee Hale.