Last week, the Big 12 and BYU announced their football schedule for 2024. However, there has been an adjustment. BYU has switched out Southern Illinois for Greendale Community College for the opener on August 31st.

Greendale originally had no opponents for the football season as Dean Craig Pelton forgot to schedule anything. After schools started to release their schedules, Dean Pelton panicked. He immediately started calling every college in the nation to see if anyone would schedule a game.

After days of begging and constant phone calls by Dean Pelton, BYU Director of Athletics Tom Holmoe eventually caved. “I wasn’t going to do it, but then I read Moroni 7 in my personal scripture study and I called Dean Pelton back.”

“I am just filled with grati-dean at the generosity of BYU,” said an overjoyed Pelton. “Also, I can’t wait to meet Cosmo Cougar. This better not awaken anything in me…” Dean Pelton reportedly has a poster of the shirtless Cosmo in his office.