Survey: 72% of Business Students Already Failed No NCMO November

Brad Wilcox, BYU religion professor and General Officer of the Church, announced an extra credit opportunity. If, for the remainder of the month of November, a student was able to refrain from a non-committal make out (NCMO), they would receive twenty five extra credit points. Wilcox, in making the announcement, said “Not one of you is free from sin, but this would do a whole lot to clean up this campus. I love you, but chill out!”

Weldon Wiseman, local National Security Agency operator, was dubious. “This seems like an unnecessary intrusion into students’ personal lives. What you should do is set up a system that scans all of their emails and text messages for invites to Waffle Love or ‘watching movies.’”

“NCMOs are a civil right!” said Jaxxon Beighzos, BYUSA presidential candidate and Global Supply Chain major. “As president, I will mandate at least three NCMOs each November for all students.”

The reaction from the Divine Public Affairs Bureau was more positive. “NCMOing is not a ‘damnable’ sin,” said Michael, Chief Archangel and Celestial Spokesman. “That being said, you definitely receive celestial credit for bridling your passions. Also, more of you need to brush your teeth if you are going to do it. Yikes.”

Survey data shows at least 72% of  business students have already failed N0 NCMO November, 48% replying they have had a NCMO in the past thirty minutes. Other majors, according to the survey, have never been on dates, and so stand to benefit.