It seemed like all anyone could talk about this summer was the star studded Barbie movie, which dazzled audiences with its catchy soundtrack and hot pink set. However, the box office hit has a sinister side. Millions of people, including BYU students, are planning on dressing up in Barbie and Ken’s revealing outfits for Halloween. “We’re expecting a 75% increase in shoulder sightings from last year.” says Honor Code Office sin forecaster Brexton Williams. “That number is completely unacceptable.”

In order to combat student’s loosening morals, the Honor Code Office installed a sin-themed haunted house in the MARB. The attraction warns about the dangers of immodesty and other unholy practices that are beginning to creep into BYU culture.

“I’ve never been so scared!” says Brixley Adamms, one of the first students to experience the haunted house. “I can’t believe there are people that are total slaves to coffee. Like, it totally takes their agency away. I almost dropped my raspberry Dr. Pepper a couple times back there.”

“There was a homeless guy in there who said he couldn’t get a job because of a test he failed.” recalls Jason Heninger, art history major. “And you know why he failed that test? Because he had a beard and the testing center wouldn’t let him in! I’ll never participate in no-shave November ever again.”

“I guess my RA was right,” says freshman Leanna Miller with a shudder. “Using the bathroom at a guy’s apartment really does lead to a life of apostasy and misery.”

“The response has been incredible,” comments Brexton. “You can really feel the difference on campus. A few students said they felt traumatized, but I think that’s how you know it’s working. And the best part is that the haunted house experience counts for half of your Global and Cultural Awareness credit. So it’s a win-win for everyone.”