Lonely Student Buys “Touching Allowed” Haunted House Ticket Just to Feel Something

Contrary to popular belief, there is such thing as taking the Halloween Spirit too far.

Attendants and employees of Fear Factory, Utah’s top haunted house destination, were confused and even scared this past Wednesday, when a BYU Student named Zack Conway reportedly tried to take advantage of the “Touching Allowed” ticket. Conway, a returned missionary majoring in Computer Science, was finally kicked out of the Factory after remaining three hours in the middle of the experience. Interviews with those familiar with Conway indicate that he had been on a recent losing streak with regards to dating, and desperate times called for desperate measures.

“When I grabbed him, he just stared at me, smiling,” Bugsy the Clown, an employee at Fear Factory commented. “It was funny for a second, but then he grabbed me back, and I was the one getting scared.”

Other eyewitness accounts report that Conway ran from room to room trying to hug everything from other visitors to dismembered corpses. He was finally removed from the exhibit by authorities.

“I  figured he was one of the employees or something,” recalled Haley Weine, a fellow BYU student. “But then I recognized that awful CS smell and couldn’t stop screaming.”

Conway has received a permanent ban from Fear Factory and all related franchises. When asked for comment, he was quoted as saying “I regret nothing. Now it’s a Happy Halloween.”

Fear Factory is offering refunds to all those who were affected by the incident.