Commemorative “Pumpkin Spice” Option Introduced to Sacrament Meeting

In a dual effort to celebrate the beauty of fall and increase YSA ward attendance, the Utah Area Presidency has introduced a new pumpkin spice sacrament option.

The recent change comes after a supposed correlation was found between a drop in fall YSA Ward attendance and a surprising rise in Starbucks revenues within the Utah Area. Further research found that this revenue spike came not from coffee, but the seasonal Pumpkin Spice food options found at the popular coffee chain.

“Information inspires revelation,” said Elder Kevin W. Pearson, the Utah Area President. “And Utah kids these days love pumpkin spice. I don’t really get it, but can’t argue with the facts.”

Though critics are calling the updated sacrament bread an “erroneous interpretation of D&C 27:2,” there has been an overall positive response: Both sacrament meeting attendance and convert baptisms are up 200%.

“Now I know the Church is true,” commented Orville McLaughlin, who was baptized this Sunday. “As soon as I popped that pumpkin spice into my mouth, all the doubt went away.”

There has also been some questioning as to the source of the pumpkin spice bread, as multiple sources state it has a stunningly similar taste to its Starbucks counterpart.

But in the opinion of innumerable trend-following Provo adolescents, repentance never tasted so good.