Dating in Utah is famously tricky. The prominence of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and the social pressures to marry young can skew the chemistry between aspiring couples, even on that first ice cream date. Some young adults in Utah have chosen to sidestep the difficulties of first dates and introductions and pass the responsibilities on to their parents by entering arranged marriages.
Arranged marriages are common throughout history and are still practiced in some cultures today. They are hailed as a strategy to cultivate successful marriages, as often what determines a successful marriage is the effort of the married couple rather than their initial feelings towards each other. Additionally, arranged marriages can bring different families together and eliminate potential disputes before they can start.
However, arranged marriages within Caucasian individuals in the United States have long been taboo. While parents still want to exercise control over their children’s marital choices, the romantic nature of marrying your true love has taken over. That is, until recently, when data from the Bureau of Utah Technology Tactics showed that 15% of the marriages in the last three months were arranged marriages.
Prospective spouses currently in the courting stages have reported feelings of ease and trust as their guardians complete the heavy lifting of finding a spouse. Cannon McCade, a pre-business student at Brigham Young University, explained, “Finding an eternal partner is just so much easier when my mom picks the girl for me.”
Parents enjoy being able to have this control as well; Genevieve Clark, a mother from Bountiful, Utah, has found herself much more secure in her son’s choices now that she makes them. She exclaimed, “The girls my son was bringing home before he authorized me to arrange his marriage were just awful. Some of them were brunettes or had thoughts of working outside the home. But now, my lovely Kayson is going to marry someone who will produce the optimal grandkids!”
Nonexistent courtship and uncomfortable conversations aside, the quality of arranged marital relationships is the real question stemming from this practice. And despite the taboo nature of arranged marriages within Caucasian society, spouses seem to be perfectly happy. Just one testimonial from Karlee, a recent bride married in the Mount Timpanogos temple, states:
“I don’t know if I would have picked Thatcher myself, but now that we’re married, I can see why my dad chose him. Thatcher has numerous good qualities that I am currently learning about and definitely see.”
Whether this recent trend will continue to grow or fizzle out in the years to come remains to be seen. For now, prospective arrangers can download the app Pick Me, a place for parents to swap photos and facts about their sons and daughters who should have been married yesterday.