Following the BYU football team’s nail biter victory against Arkansas, the First Presidency put out a statement to the press. “Considering his angelic athleticism and heroic one-handed catch on Saturday, it has been determined that a statue of Chase Roberts will replace the Angel Moroni on the remodeled Provo Temple.”
Noted football fan Dallin H. Oaks further commented: “We were promised that we would see miracles the likes of which we had never seen before. Truly, the success of the Cougar football team thus far this season is one of the greatest miracles we’ve seen in the past five years.”
This news was received with elation by Provo residents. One Heritage Halls resident, Nora Cade, commented “Chase is SO much cuter than Moroni. And who plays trombone these days anyway?”
Kalani Sitake, the coach of the football team, was initially hesitant. “I mean, yes, the catch saved the game, and yes it was pretty miraculous, but I’m not sure it’s quite on the same level as ushering in the Restoration.”
Chase Roberts himself was flattered but somewhat embarrassed. “I’m just here to do my best, and every guy on the team contributed just as much. It was definitely divine intervention though, for sure.”
The Angel Moroni dismissed concerns that he was being disrespected or replaced. “Heaven bleeds bluer than the ROC, dude. We’ve got a couple destroying angels lined up to smite Kansas this week, and Alma the Younger has got us stocked up with popcorn, Papa John’s, and Creamery Cookies and Cream milk. Besides, I’ve gotten so stiff standing on the temples, it’ll be nice to have a young guy like Chase taking some of the burden.”
The next BYU football miracle is scheduled for this Saturday on ESPN and BYUtv.
ben the goat