With the ending of spring term summer abroad programs and the onslaught of missionaries returning home, BYU students are jockeying for the position of most foreign and special. One such argument is heating up between students Maddeighson and former Elder Clarcksyn, now just Mckeigh.

During her time in Germany, Maddeighson became (apparently) fluent in casual and academic German, gained an appreciation for German culture, and ate a lot of schnitzel. By contrast, Mckeigh also claims German fluency and an appreciation for German culture, and ate a lot of schnitzel. Their experiences vary greatly indeed.

Mckeigh’s main argument is that the time he spent in Germany afforded him much more exposure to German culture and traditions than Maddeighsyn’s six-week spring term trip. However, Maddeighsyn counters with the astute observation that Mckeigh was not allowed to do anything except proselyte.

Mckeigh explained, “Only interacting with people in the context of the LDS Church is a completely valid way to experience and learn about the culture of a country. I clearly have the upper hand here.”

Maddeighsyn disagreed, saying, “My study abroad taught me so much about the world. I was able to take classes with other Americans, explore the tourist traps with other Americans, and come home to a dorm full of other Americans. The experience was priceless! I’m basically a German now.”

It’s arguable that both of their arguments are complete garbage. They are, as evidenced by their names, Utah Mormons through and through.