Reading Day is a day set aside for reading. Most people are smart about it and choose to study for finals, but this term, Krystinn Smith has only two finals. She realized that four of her cousins are returning from missions in a few weeks, but she still hasn’t read a single email.

“They are literally so redundant. There are pacing issues, and there’s little to no character development,” remarks Krystinn. “I am on hour fifteen of getting through two years’ worth of letters. Please pray for me.”

In addition to reading, Krystinn has decided to reply to each of the emails to make it look like she cares. “I plan to just say that the letters got lost in the mail. Not sure if that will work, but it’s worth a shot.” She mentioned that she is using ChatGPT to respond to each of them to make the meticulous work go by faster.

Krystinn, who is the family’s golden child, doesn’t want her cousins to get mad at her. It’s nearly been three years since her rabid pet squirrel bit half of the family, and she is worried that everyone is still mad at her. “Everybody is always mad at me. I don’t get it. My boyfriend dumped me… I mean, I dumped him! Because he just couldn’t handle the fact that I am way better at Mario Kart than he is. I only meant to let him know that he can suck it, but he got sooo offended. My cousins better not leave me like he did… If all goes to plan and my cousins think I’m nice, I am sure to get my fair share of the estate.”

Luckily, Krystinn only has 200 more unread missionary emails.