Over mocktails at The Wash, finance major Orrin Young asked his Mutual date, Loureynn Allred, about the color of her toothbrush. “This is a major breakthrough,” says Allred, age 17 (and a half). “Orrin’s been talking about his time working in the mission office in Chile for three hours, and now I get the chance to share about myself!”

Young, age 26 (barely), is reportedly also enthused. “When I saw her eyes light up when I ordered in Spanish, I knew she was the one.” The proud owner of a VASA membership, Young has been searching for someone to spend his life with that shares his passion for himself. In Allred, he thinks that there’s a chance. “I originally was planning on making this a NCMO sesh, but I think we can make this an EMO.”

When asked what an EMO is, Young replied “Like a NCMO, but for eternity.”

Allred, from Draper, is also taking the long view. “Even though Orrin went to Provo High, I think he has some good potential. He reps twice my body weight on bench press, he made a small fortune from selling pest control, and he uses more hair product than I do, so he’s got to be husband material, right?”

Their fellow customers all refused to comment on the record about the budding romance, but the general consensus was that the pair deserved each other.

At press time, Young had regained control of the conversation, regaling Allred with stories about tubing on the Provo River as the couple drove to the nearest ring shop.