Kevin J. Worthen announces presidential campaign

Former BYU President Kevin J. Worthen is seeking a new form of presidency – that of the United States of America. Before his release on May 1, 2023, Worthen served as the President of BYU for nine years. Though the public was officially made aware of his release on March 21, an undisclosed source close to Worthen reveals “he’s been planning this for a while, since at least 2022.”

Worthen announced his candidacy yesterday in a Facebook livestream – at least, those were his intentions. Unfortunately, he was unable to find the button to start the livestream, so he settled for a post on his page, which simply read “President Worthen Part Two: November 2024,” accompanied with a broken link to his Wikipedia page. The post was initially met with confusion and misunderstanding. “I thought we just got a new president,” said Brayden Fischer, a finance major. “Is President Reese just like, on an eighteen-month mission? I don’t understand.”

Peggy Worthen confirmed the news on her Instagram, sharing a video of her and Kevin Worthen with BYU TV managing director Jeff Simpson. “We’ve decided it’s time we share our next step with the public,” Peggy begins the video by saying. “President Worthen: Second Time’s The Charm,” Kevin interjects with a smile. “That’s right, BYU, I’m running for President of the United States. There won’t be a Tuesday devotional the week of January 20, 2025, because they’ll be broadcasting my inauguration all over campus.”

News of the campaign come just days after Florida governor Ron DeSantis announced his own campaign for US President in 2024. However, Worthen supporters aren’t concerned about competition with big political names. “Yeah, everyone knows DeSantis and Trump and Biden,” says Becca Davila, a psychology major. “But did they lead the Lord’s university into the Big 12? I don’t think so.” Harry Pollard, a recently returned missionary majoring in political science, agrees. “I mean, I heard Worthen’s the one who got us free public transportation in Utah. That was pretty cool of him. I don’t feel like any US President’s done much like that for us recently.”

“For me,” adds Chloe McNeil, an English major, “it all comes down to the number 13. President Worthen was the 13th President of BYU. Everyone knows 13’s Taylor Swift’s lucky number, and if it’s good enough for Taylor, it’s good enough for me. I’ll be voting for him.” Davila, Pollard, and McNeil aren’t the only ones supporting Worthen’s campaign. Cosmo Cougar was photographed on campus this morning in a “Worthen ‘24” shirt. However, not everyone’s so convinced that Worthen’s the man for the job.

“I just don’t know,” says Ana Greer, a recently married elementary education major. “I mean, I just turned eighteen so this is the first presidential election I’ll get to vote in. But my husband, Liam, voted in 2016 and 2020 and he said that President Worthen would do a bad job. So he probably would, and I’m not going to vote for him.” 

Public opinion’s expected to stay high, especially as BYU prepares to enter the Big 12 this year, which is widely credited to President Kevin Worthen. And rumor has it an official Church statement of support will be announced in August when Elder Dale G. Renlund gives a BYU Tuesday devotional. 

“I’m going to be the first Latter-day Saint President of the United States. #SorryMittRomney” Worthen tweeted just an hour ago. Mitt Romney, who was the Republican nominee for President of the United States in 2012, declined to comment on Worthen’s statement, though it was retweeted by Dallin H. Oaks, member of the First Presidency and former Utah Supreme Court Justice. New BYU President C. Shane Reese also declined to comment on Worthen’s campaign.

So, will Kevin J. Worthen be President Kevin J. Worthen again? With seventeen long months of campaigning ahead of him, not to mention the rocky launch of the campaign and Worthen’s general anonymity outside of Utah, you would think Worthen’s not sure. But in his statement to the Alternate Universe, he said simply “the Lord provides.” If only the rest of us were so confident.