We all think we’re safe walking around our apartment complexes. Unfortunately, this seems to not be the case, as evidenced by the tragic event of May 21, 2023.
Hayleigh McTwinkleton was peacefully and unsuspectingly walking to her apartment at Liberty on Freedom after a long day of work. As she neared her front door, an incredibly heavy and deadly object fell from an above balcony and landed on her head, killing her instantly. And this object? None other than the cult favorite Stanley Cup.
“I was just walking out the door and I tripped and dropped my lavender Stanley filled to the brim with delicious Diet Coke and coconut creamer with a splash of lime off the balcony,” described Rachelle Riveter, despondent over the deaths of her dirty soda and of Hayleigh.
In the investigation following Hayleigh’s death, it was found that a broken balcony allowed for the tragic accident to happen. When asked for comment, Redstone Management, property management of Liberty on Freedom, responded, “We meant to do something about the broken balcony, but we were too busy raising rent and ignoring the requests of our tenants.”
The Provo YSA 7639th ward is holding a candlelight vigil for Hayleigh this Friday. Dirty sodas will be served.