Instagram blurbs: “I took one bite of the brownie, and next thing I know, my mouth is on fire… I thought I was going to return to Kolob right then and there” -Dallin Smith, Caucasian

Instagram blurbs: “This is truly one of the most pathetic things I have ever seen” – BYU EMT, quitting soon

Dallin Smith was excited to come to BYU for his freshman year. “There were so many new things I was so excited to try,” Dallin reports, “Like going to the football games, trying BYU’s food, and holding hands with a girl.”

But unfortunately for Dallin, not everything would turn out as great as he imagined.

“I remember the morning of the incident perfectly,” Dallin reports. “I told my roommate Tanner that I was going to try a mint brownie for the first time, and he encouraged me, telling me it would be the best thing I ever tasted. I never thought I would be betrayed by him.”

Dallin finished his meal at the Cannon Center quickly, eagerly looking forward to the mint brownie waiting for him at the dessert station.

“I took one bite of the brownie, and next thing I know, my mouth is on fire,” Dallin recounts. With tears in his eyes, Dallin recalls how he could “hardly breath” and thought he was “going to return to Kolob right then and there”. “I never expected something that looks so tasty to be so spicy,” Dallin chokes out between sobs.

Luckily, after EMT’s administered 2 gallons of fat free milk to Dallin’s mouth (whole milk is “too rich” for his taste), the pain subsided and Dallin was able to go home. “I swear sometimes I can still feel the burning sensation,” Dallin reports.

Dallin happily returned to his diet of unseasoned mashed potatoes and white bread after this incident, and tells us that he is “grateful to be alive”, and will not be trying anything new anytime soon.