For students and alumni of Brigham Young University, nothing says school spirit quite like shoving an eight-foot-long treat of sugar and dough down your gullet. The iconic maple-glazed donut known as the CougarTail has been a staple of Cougar Sports for years, whether enjoyed among friends or eaten solo over the slow course of a multi-hour game. For centuries this delectable dessert has been only available in one flavor, but to the surprise of BYU football fans at the home game against Arkansas, they were presented with the option to purchase something new. 

BYU Dining was proud to present that first batch of CougarTails that taste like complete and bitter disappointment.

“This new flavor of CougarTail was the perfect treat to enhance my experience watching Arkansas defeat BYU,” says junior Abbbie Pudgewumpkin. “I’ll bet these will become a lasting BYU tradition.”

Reaction to this newly flavored CougarTail was mixed. Surveys indicated that the taste of disappointment especially shocked many optimistic young freshmen who were sure that this BYU sporting staple would be full of joy and gloating. Upperclassmen on the other hand have widely become desensitized to the taste and found this new flavor unsurprising.