On Monday morning, BYU Museum of Art workers found a horrendous sight. Two young women were glued to the wall next to the “LOVE” sculpture, which they had defaced with cans of tomato soup. Apparently, the two had vandalized the priceless work of art the previous Saturday, but everyone had been watching the football game, leaving their protest unnoticed.

The two women, Blonderisa Whiteface and Whitnemily Smithson, claimed that they were protesting BYU’s destruction of the HFAC.

According to Whiteface, “The HFAC”s destruction will result in debris and ash being spewed into the air, which could kill birds, bugs, and starving African babies.” When asked how the “LOVE” sculpture had to do with any of this, Smithson would only respond, “I literally can’t even with this criticism right now. Shaking and crying.” 

For the museum’s part, the statue was promptly cleaned off and returned to its normal spot. The museum announced a new policy where visitors will have to sign a form at the door, establishing whether or not they’re idiots.

“It’s just safer for everyone,” says the museum director. “We love and appreciate all BYU students, but it’s so much simpler when we can identify the stupid ones.”