BYU campus is on high alert today. For one, excitement is in the air for tonight’s Homecoming Formal Dance. And for another, more sinister reason, President Kevin Jessica Worthen is reportedly on the prowl for a date. He was seen just this morning making excessive eye contact and casually wearing his shirt unbuttoned. According to Worthen, this is just his normal “casual Friday” attire. 

“My wife said she had plans tonight, so when I asked my best bud Pete if he would escort me, he said he had plans at the exact same time,” said Worthen. “So I guess I really have to pull some strings now…I’m still waiting to hear back from a few people.”

Our journalistic hunch raised a few suspects in mind, who we eventually contacted for a comment. “Yeah, no, he asked me…he asked me,” Jeffery R. Holland revealed. “So I guess being a busy man does have its perks.”

Meanwhile we hear Cosmo has reportedly asked nine different women and is planning on bringing every single one with him tonight. We wish them and Peggy and Pete a very pleasant evening tonight.