In the second devotional of the new semester, the first counselor to the living prophet President Dallin H. Oaks addressed the audience of BYU students sporting a new look to support this historic announcement. In what will come to be known as Official Declaration 7, President Oaks affirmed that the Lord had made known His will for the blessing of all the bare faces across campus, inviting all those that desire to grow out their facial hair to exercise that right for the first time in this dispensation. 

“We the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles have pleaded earnestly on the behalf of our baby-faced brethren, spending many hours supplicating the Lord for His divine guidance. Aware of the many bearded holy men such as Abraham, Moses and Brigham Young who have preceded us on this earth in God’s sacred timetable, we decree with soberness that now is the time for this return to regality to be put into effect.

We humbly declare that all of the brethren who are capable of growing facial hair may receive the beard card.” Said President Oaks, reading aloud from the declaration. “The vote to sustain the foregoing motion was unanimous in the affirmative.”

This revelation provides further proof that the heavens are not closed and our benevolent Father in heaven continues to guide His church through ongoing revelation to His chosen servants. President Oaks concluded his remarks with a fervent testimony of the love that our most-likely-bearded Savior has for every student at BYU, and the desires of the three bald men that make up the First Presidency have to reflect that same love into the hearts of each and every one of God’s children. “I admonish you to accept, as I have, the Lord’s invitation in 1 Thessalonians 5:21,” said President Oaks, stroking the bushy ginger curls beneath his chin. “With a mind open to receiving revelation, you too can ‘prove all things’ and ‘hold fast to that which is good’ when it comes to the beard you may now grow and the countenance you hope to demonstrate. The Lord will not lead you astray in matters as important as these.”

At press time it was confirmed that the statue modeling the historically inaccurate beardless Brigham Young would be beheaded and fixed up with the proper beard widely associated with the second president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.