YSA Relief Societies in Provo will no longer be assigning wards based on members’ addresses and will instead use a screening process similar to sorority recruitment. This process will take place over the span of a week, nicknamed “Rush to Zion Week”. Freshmen will visit with Relief Societies during this time and the week will culminate in a grand reveal of Relief Society Matches on “Revelation Day”. 

Incoming freshmen can look on SaintRank to see which Relief Societies are the best. Relief Societies are evaluated based on the categories Hottest Girls, Blonde: Brunette Ratio, and One-Year Marriage Rate. Currently, the 298th ward holds the top spot with a 9.8 Hottest Girls rating, 10:1 Blonde: Brunette Ratio, and a One-Year Marriage Rate of 78%. 

Despite the myriad concerns around this new policy from Provo outsiders, including more opportunities for discrimination and the misogynistic ranking system, the decision has been overwhelmingly popular among freshmen and established Relief Society members. 

“As a blonde, I feel it’s necessary to be able to associate with members of my own kind. This new policy helps me make sure that I get what I want out of my ward,” said Laura McKay, a freshman looking to rush the 186th ward (Blonde: Brunette Ratio 12:1). 

Rachel Smith, president of the 429th ward Relief Society, said, “In the past, we’d have to bully girls in order to force them to transfer wards or sabotage their housing contracts to make sure they weren’t in our Relief Society. This is much better.” 

The decision has been popular with the men of Provo as well. In fact, Elder’s Quorums are hoping to implement a similar policy next year, with SaintRank categories like Best Mustaches, Missionary Baptism Stats, and Muscle Mass. Everyone in Provo is excitedly awaiting the coming Revelation Day.