New Study Abroad Program

BYU students love visiting Disneyland and walking around the BYU campus in Disney merch. (Decker Westenburg)

The Kennedy Center at BYU announced a new study abroad program. Set for a maximum of 85 students and their families per week, this is projected to be the highest-grossing program yet.

“Our vision was to create a program in which students will spend just as much money for a normal study abroad, yet simultaneously gain no cultural experience whatsoever,” says program organizer Sally McQueen. “That is why we chose Disneyland as the ideal location.”
“When designing this program, we kept in mind the vast number of Disney adul-, I mean young families, who come to BYU,” says Mort Sullivan, project and design executive.
The courses covered include the following:
  • ANTHRO 360R (1 credit hour) – The Abridged Disney College Program – counts for no course requirements, and you will not get paid.
  • SFL 480R (4 credit hours) – How to be a Better Wife – counts as a religion credit.
  • ECON 200 (1 credit hour) – How to Blow All Your Money on Meaningless Experiences – counts toward the euntrepeneourership major.
  • AMRH 101 (3 credit hours) – American Heritage – because nothing says “USA” more than waiting in line for eight hours and spending $50 on pasta.
Here is the information you can find on the Kennedy Center website:
When: May 30 – June 5, June 7 – June 14, June 16 – June 22, June 24 – June 30, etc.
Cost: $8560
Contact: isp@byu.edu
Description:
         Have you ever envied someone who has gone on a study abroad, but you do not want the eye-opening experience? Well, join this program instead! You’ll get to blow just as much money, and you will get to wait in line for a total of 20 hours on this week-long “adventure” extraordinaire. Meet all your fictional heroes, and sit through sweltering heat just to see people in dress-up walk down the street to the sounds of spoiled, whiney children. Spend $80 each day on food alone, and buy a whole new wardrobe dedicated to the mouse god Mortimer. Still not sold? Go on this “adventure” and earn 9 credit hours, sure to boost your miserable GPA! The only catch is that you have to cram 576 hours worth of work in one week instead of a 16-week-long semester.
         Learn all about the fascinating, rich history of a multi-billion-dollar corporation that sells magic! Find as many hidden Mortimers as possible! Take pictures to post on Instagram, oh wait, Facebook because you are a millennial who hasn’t excepted their fate of growing up and becoming a mature adult! Propose to your girlfriend of two weeks! Get married here! Nobody cares! Here in the land of magic, ethics are meaningless, just ask any of the employees who do not make a living wage!
         Have as many main-character moments as you wish! Nobody will judge! Tom Holland may make a surprise visit, and he is extremely attracted to girls with messy buns who would rather read their books than look at him.
         Organize a stroller stampede! Don’t worry about scaring your infant, they won’t remember the experience anyway. Is anyone reading this anymore? I am just sharting words onto my keyboard. Yeah, Disneyland sucks butt. Pay a crapton of money just to wait in line all day and listen to nerds loudly lecture their families on which fictional character pissed on that landmark over there.
         Mark Twain said this prolific quote, “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.” Prove him wrong by staying in the US and worshiping a mouse god, showing that you are actually open to listening to other people and their religions.
Disclaimer: Renesmee is offended by the lack of a Twighlightland park at Disneyland. If there are tone issues with this story, feel free to complain, just keep it in your journal and not the internet.