Last Saturday evening, despite BYU’s new (and not at all homophobic) protest policies, a group of parents and allies lit up the Y in the colors of the transgender pride flag to show support for LGBTQ+ students.

The following week, BYU announced that it was firing Chemish, the Bridge Troll guarding the mountain.

“I’m not supposed to comment on ‘gay issues’ but one can say that Chemish only had one job,” said BYU admin Greg Miller.

A distraught Chemish agreed to an interview with The Alternative Universe,

“Saw no cuffed jeans or beanies did I, so I let everyone by, now BYU is firing me, I don’t know how to find another job successfully.”

He will be hosting his own protest this Saturday at the park in an attempt to reclaim his job.

Meanwhile, BYU has been looking into alternatives for guardianship of Y Mountain. Thus far their list of possible candidates has included the dragon from Shrek, Chad the business major, and Mothman.

To add suggestions or apply yourself, please go to altuniverbyu.com.