On March 3rd, BYU students had the chance to vote for next year’s student association president. After the votes were tallied, Ethan Baker was announced as the 2022-23 BYUSA president, with Brandyn Young as executive vice president.

Ever since this announcement, however, a large number of disgruntled students have demanded a recount. The Alternate Universe was able to interview a student protesting outside of the Will. “It’s nothing against Ethan,” says Mkenzeleigh Thomas, “We just think it’s really important that the election results be fair, and I know for a fact that the committee who tallied the votes went to Starbucks earlier that day. How can they be trusted to determine who the new president should be when they’re blatantly disobeying the honor code like that?”

After 20 straight days of protesting, the BYU student association finally caved under threats of reporting the secret Starbucks trips to the Honor Code Office. The recount was supervised by a “responsibility committee” which included President Kevin J. Worthen, Cosmo the cougar, and Elder Gerrit W. Gong of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. It has been confirmed that no coffee was involved.

The surprising results of the recount have revealed that Ethan Baker is, in fact, not the new BYUSA president. Instead, the vast majority of votes apparently went to a Mint Brownie™ from the BYU creamery on 9th.

While the Mint Brownie™ has not announced any initiatives or goals for its presidency, the campus community is very excited to see what it will come up with. Brandyn Young will remain the vice president as no one was even running against him in the first place. Former president-elect Ethan Baker was not available for comment but was last seen crying in the Starbucks on University Avenue.