Keanu Jermichaelson, a senior at BYU majoring in Ancient Scripture, finally came to terms with his futile existence. As we are all well aware, we live in a simulation created by our technological overlords Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos. But surprisingly, there are only a select few remaining who have not accepted this. Jermichaelson was one of them.

“I just started to notice that things were a little off this week. I saw a ‘student’ just walking into a wall. His legs were moving and everything…”

On his 4Chan page formerly titled “No Simulation Simps”, he explained his experience further.

“Guys, it’s starting to get to me. Doubt is creeping into my mind…I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.”

“Yesterday, I tried to talk to a cute girl in my class and she just stared deep into my soul,” Jermichaelson started off. “When she finally responded, she spoke to me in Sims language. It made no sense. It was like I could see the code processing in her mind.”

Later in his blog post, he shared other experiences of seeing other students on campus sitting in the same seat all day and standing in line at Chick-fil-A for hours at a time.

“I encourage you all to open your eyes and see,” Jermichaelson finished his blog post. “The Matrix was more than a movie, it was a wake-up call.”