This morning, The Russian leader Vladimir Putin was found “dead in his mansion” with a “javelin in his heart”. Some say all of heaven cheered as they looked down on the murdered man.

The Alternate Universe confirmed that the assassination was in fact the work of Book of Mormon war hero Teancum. In an exclusive interview, Teancum opened up about his successful secret mission.

During the night, Teancum and his servant secretly infiltrated Putin’s residence. After a brief search for the Russian President, Teancum threw a javelin at Putin, which struck him in the heart, killing him instantly. Teancum then successfully fled back to his camp without being detected.

Teancum had this to say about his motivation behind the act: “It came to pass that the Spirit said unto me again: Slay him, for the Lord hath delivered him into thy hands; Behold the Lord slayeth the wicked to bring forth his righteous purposes. It is better that one man should perish than that a nation should dwindle and perish in unbelief.

What will this mean for the Russia-Ukraine War? Has Ukraine won its freedom, at least for now? Perhaps only time will tell.