This past Tuesday, Billy Eilish started off his shift at his newly acquired gym job with a plan to change the world.

“I had been working at the [BYU Gym] for about two weeks and the music was driving me insane,” Billy told the Alternate Universe. “After hearing exclusively Coldplay and Imagine Dragons for two straight weeks, I was ready to be swallowed in the sea.”

After being fed up with the music selection at his gym, he decided to take action. Instead of the playing music from the standard playlist titled, “White People Jams”, he decided to play actual music for once.

He plugged in his phone and pulled up a playlist titled, “Bumpin’ Dank Beats.” When he started playing his music, the entire gym stopped what they were doing immediately and looked around confused. But once the gym-goers realized what was happening, they began jumping for joy.

For reference, his playlist included risqué tracks such as, “Hey Ya” by Outkast, “Sicko Mode” by Travis Scott, “Ni**as in Paris” by Kanye West and Jay-Z, and “Holding Out for a Hero” from the Shrek 2 Soundtrack.

“It felt like a curse was lifted,” local gym rat Remy Reynolds said. “I was finally able to hit my personal best for the first time since high school.”

The entire gym cheered and started chanting Billy’s name. He thought he finally changed the world. He thought he finally made the impact on the world that he was dying to make.

Until his next shift, where his shift manager was angrily waiting for him.

“It was completely inappropriate,” manager Christopher Martindale said of Eilish’s behavior. “If that kind of music became the standard, this gym would be turned into another Fuego. Nobody wants that”

Without discussion, Eilish was promptly fired and dishonorably discharged from his job. According some eye witnesses, he walked away from gym with his fist high in the air as people cheered him on.

So finally, Billy Eilish had become a hero. A hero without a job, but a hero nonetheless.