After losing the important game of his career, Burrow only can blame one person: himself. The Bengals lost a close, hard-fought game this Sunday. On the sidelines, word got out that Joe Burrow had not paid his tithing that month.

The Alternate Universe received an exclusive interview with Burrow because we’re just cool like that.

“I can only blame myself at this point,” Joe Burrow told the Alternate Universe directly after the game. “I was waiting for that Super Bowl check but I’ve sadly learned my lesson.”

“Once I found out, I was absolutely pissed,” Trey Hendrickson, defensive lineman, told the Alternate Universe. “I was so mad that I picked up a kid from the stands and threw him on the field.”

This cautionary tale is 100% true and you shouldn’t think otherwise.