The Eagle Scout rank is one of the highest accolades that any red-blooded American boy could ever aspire to earn. Studies have shown that those who achieve this honor are highly successful in life. But what about those who didn’t soar to the heights of the Eagle rank? The statistics are nothing short of shocking.

35% Homeless: Without their American business and labor merit badges, more than a third of these men end up on the streets within 5 years of high school graduation.

24%: Incarcerated: Due to their lack of knowledge and respect for the outdoors, around a quarter end up in prison for littering.

15% Sissy: A little more than an eighth have been shown to develop interests in things like poetry and baking. They might as well have been a girl scouts.

16% Liberal: The only thing worse than sissy is liberal. Almost a fifth of failed Eagle Scouts are registered democrats.

10% Dead: Roughly a tenth of the men who failed to achieve their Eagle Scout die from rock-climbing accidents involving an improperly tied knot.