There is nothing sadder than a college student going home for Christmas without a boyfriend or girlfriend. Parents, relatives, and family friends will ask about dating, and there is no reply that will satisfy them. Normally, Christmas morning and presents will make up for these nuisances, but not even that can uplift Jahn McRobertson. 

This year, Jahn’s Christmas list only depresses him. His wants include jumper cables, a mattress pad, socks, a shower caddy, and some food storage. “My twelve year-old self would be disappointed in me. I used to want cool things, but now I’m boring.”

Jahn never thought it would come to this. “The same thing happened to all my older siblings. I thought they were so stupid. All my nieces and nephews are asking for Lego sets, video games, and hoverboards, but I actually need stuff. I know they’re gonna’ make fun of me.”

Rumor has it, Jahn’s mom got all the stuff on his list, so next semester should be better for him. If only all the ladies at church would stop trying to set them up with their nieces’ roommates…