Already hate the classes you are in this semester? Take your mind off your terrible previous life decisions and think about the future! Here are the top 5 classes you need to take next semester to fill the insatiable void that consumes your soul.
#5 CHEM 350 – Non-GMO, 85% Lean, Grass-Fed Organic Chemistry
Everyone’s favorite class, Organic Chemistry, gets a more environmentally friendly upgrade this semester. In this class, you will learn about molecular compounds and save the planet. Taught by the manager of the local “Trader Joes”, get ready to overpay for your education and feel better about yourself while doing so!
#4 SWELL 169 – Competitive LARPing
LARPing, for the uncultured who don’t know what it is, stands for “Live Action Role Playing”. When LARPing, participants often dress up as knights, warriors, or any other mythical beast to fight each other with plastic weapons. SWELL 169 provides the perfect environment for finally releasing our inner medieval knight that resides within us all. Unsurprisingly, this class will be held in the basement of HFAC at 12am on Tuesday nights. And no, we don’t know if that means Monday into Tuesday, or Tuesday into Wednesday.
#3 ENT 407 – Settlers of Catan Tactical Strategies
Do you enjoy practicing your business skills at inappropriate settings and making all of your friends question your friendship with you? Then this is the class for you! This six-credit class will require you to dedicate four hours every night to playing Settlers with your classmates. Intense gameplay will be followed by critiques from a new professor who for obvious reasons, wants to remain anonymous. Prerequisites to this class include ENT 405 – Ticket to Ride Tactical Strategies and ENT 404 – Beginning UNO.
#2 REL D 280 – Flirting to Build Eternal Families
In an effort to adhere to the recent counsel from our Prophet this past general conference, BYU has added a class to help all students get the babe of their dreams. Taught exclusively by Casey Griffiths, you will learn from the master about how to flirt and how to stop disappointing your parents. A quick note: the final will require you to get married using the skills you’ve learned throughout the class.
#1 Any class taught by Daniel Becerra
As the newly-crowned, undisputed, hottest professor at our great university, Daniel Becerra will be a hot commodity this upcoming semester. Professor Becerra teaches classes about the Book of Mormon, ancient scripture, and early Christianity. Reports are that his classes might be filled up until Fall 2032, so make sure you sign up fast! Classes new to his lineup this semester will include the Old Testament and Modeling 101.